Despite popular belief, I actually love my job. Food makes people happy. I make people happy because I bring them food. It's pretty simple. A lot of interesting people come through our doors and there are many I hope to see again. Unfortunately, there are a few (ok, fine, a bunch) that could take a long walk off a short pier. Or a cliff. Or to Timbuktu. Or to Big Boy. Whatever, just don't come back here. Especially if you're going to tell me I look like...
CASEY ANTHONY?!
Are you kidding me? Listen here, Old Man- it's 95 degrees, our AC is busted, I'm sweating my ass off at 7am to get you your half regular-half-decaf-with-one-cream-two-sugars-and-two-ice-cubes-because-it's-too-hot-to-drink-and-I-can't-wait-5-minutes-for-it-to-cool-off coffee, and I have raging PMS, so if you're going to compare me to someone it had better be Elizabeth Freaking Taylor or I don't wanna hear it.
"Haha, young lady," he says to me, "if you go out of town, you should watch out! You look just like that Casey Anthony. People are trying to kill her, you know."
Thank you, sir. Really. As if my anxiety isn't misplaced already (the mere thought of anything remotely apocalyptic gives me panic attacks), now I'm going to worry about being assassinated by a blue hair that had nothing better to do than follow her entire trial and was outraged (outraged!) by the jury's decision. What was my reaction, you ask? Nothing. I just stared at him.
"Uhhh...how do you want your eggs?"
"No! You really look like her! Holy cow! Hey, listen, if you wanna kill any more kids, I got two grown ones that I'd like to get rid of. I like the grandkids though."
"Scrambled then? Okay, I'll have those right out."
Oof.
I don't look anything like her, by the way. We both have dark hair. That's about it.
1 comment:
Hannah:
This is Kelley Ross. I would like to state for the record, YOU LOOK NOTHING LIKE CASEY ANTHONY!
You are much prettier, and much less creepy. Whoever said that, you should slap them in the face directly.
:)
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