Survival of the Fittest

I've only killed 1 of the 5 vegetables I tried growing this year! Okay, two if you count my wilty brown cilantro, but it's still in the ground so I say it lives. My lemon cucumbers, however, were not so fortunate. Lemon cucumbers, you say?! That's why I bought them. Outrageous stuff those plant engineers can do these days.

Because of my history of leafy green homicide, Roan always puts his foot down when I say, "I'm growing tomatoes this year!" He always breaks it to me easy, saying something like, "I think you should try something easier first. When you get good at growing those, then you can try tomatoes. We don't eat tomatoes that often anyway. You're good at jalapenos. Get some of those!"

But, Roooooooooan! We make salsa ALL THE TIME. Think how much better it would taste if we made it with our own tomatoes!

Isn't your mom growing tomatoes in her garden? We can just get some from her.

It's not the saaaaaaame. I'll get a topsy turvy thing that grows them upside down! Those are, like, guaranteed to grow them. Even I can't screw that up.

Uhhh...you still need to water them, even in a topsy tuvry. We're not getting tomatoes this year. Let's see how your peppers do and maybe next year- when we have more room- you can grow your tomatoes. Wanna go look at the toys?

YAAAAYYYY TOYS!

Ok, I get it. My mom and gramma have bright green thumbs and I have the black thumb of death. I'm the opposite of King Midas (and can apparently still be distracted with toys, dammit.) Only the strongest plants can survive in my garden. It's cool, though, cuz I totally only want the strong ones. They make you stronger when you eat them. My muscles are gonna be HUGE.

I have a message for you tomatoes: my jalapenos look great. I'll see you next year. Prepare for battle.

Rest In Peace
Lemon Cucumbers
June 2011-June 2011