I go on vacation in 5 days. My brain went on vacation about 3 days ago. My apartment is trashed. The dishes are piled head-high, I can't see the bedroom floor for all the dirty laundry, there are enough beer bottles in the living room to convince anybody with any deductive reasoning skills that we threw a giant party for college kids who drink awesome beer (we didn't), and I'm pretty sure there's some sort of toxic slime growing in and/or around my bathtub.
Do I care? Totally.
Am I going to do anything about it? No.
Why? Because the only thing I want to do is lay in my air conditioned bedroom watching old episodes of Inspector Gadget and Snorks on Hulu (only because Hulu apparently doesn't have DuckTales). I've only gotten up to pee and make coffee. I'm fine with that, except I have to traverse my way through the boobytrapped living room to get to the bathroom, and then I feel like I have to clean it, so I run as fast as I can and squint my eyes a little cuz it's harder see the big fat evidence that one day I'll end up on hoarders when it all looks like little blurs.
Anyone want to be my coffee bitch for the day? I'll pay you in spaghetti noodles (which I have plenty of), but you are not allowed to judge me because of the code 3 mess I live in. Any takers?
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